I'm back from my 20 week doctor appointment. Make that 21 weeks, 4 days. After discussing it with my midwife, we've decided to change my due date to February 4th instead of February 14th. Why? Number 1, the ultrasound dated the baby as February 4th based on all the measurements. My midwife even recalculated everything to make sure there weren't any errors. Then there is my date of ovulation which put my due date at February 9th instead of February 14th. Then there is my history of a big baby and the fact that most subsequent babies are up to half a pound bigger. The midwives usually do not induce until 2 weeks past the due date which would be February 18th with the new date. That would put me at 40 weeks 5 days with the February 14th date and 41 weeks 2 days with the February 9th date. Annika was born at 41 weeks 5 days. Kris, the doctor and I were comfortable with all this information so February 4th it is. Then I hopped up (okay, gently climbed) up on the table and she measured my belly. I'm measuring 23 weeks so that was another good indication to move up my due date. I always measured a week or two bigger with Annika as well so this matches well. The baby's heartbeat was 148 bpm and I've gained approximately 8 pounds total so far. My blood pressure was 114 over 70. The rest of the ultrasound report said everything was normal, normal, normal. I think the doctor might even have said perfect. Everything is right on track.

And believe me that was exactly what I needed to hear. It seems the world is falling apart around Kris and I. We are fine. Annika is fine. Confirmation today that the baby is fine. But so many of our friends and family are hurting that I'm finding it hard to be joyous right now. I've wrote about some of it already (Denise's cancer) but there is just so much more going on. I don't want to write about all of it because it is not my business. But there is heartache and sadness on both sides of our family and with our friends. Kris and I are trying to be supportive and loving and caring to everyone. Sometimes you just don't know what to say or do though, you know? And if feels like what you have done or are doing just isn't enough.

I just thank God that we have Annika. Even during all these hard times she is a constant joy. Kris and I find ourselves laughing with her daily. Or just smiling because she is doing something extra cute. This morning Kris and Annika came to my doctor appointment with me. I sat down in the waiting room and asked Annika if she could sit in the purple chair next to me. She climbed up and sat down just like mommy was, complete with one little arm on the big arm rest. She looked so little in that big chair but she was sitting in it just like a big girl. I looked at Kris and he was smiling at her with the proudest smile of love. We feel that way about her every day. We are just so proud of her and so lucky to have her.